Q & A

This is the author Q&A section of the site. Just when you thought “this guy couldn’t be any more fascinating!”

Q:  You used to be in the famous rock band, The NarrowBacks. Have you ever had a threesome?
A:  No, I prefer to disappoint my women one at a time. 

Q:  Come on! Being a once and future rockstar there has to be a sex tape out there, right?
A:  They haven’t invented cameras and film that move fast enough to catch my act. Once technology catches up, you never know. You may one day see an unauthorized ‘animated sex GIF ‘ to capture those 3 frames of pure passion! Well, 2 frames anyway with the 3rd frame capturing the apology. 

Q:  What is something your readers may not know about you yet?
A:  I am the most humble person who has ever lived.

Q:  Do you have any shortcomings?
A:  I am the absolute friggin’ worst at self-deprecation! Fucking god-awful at it, really. Totally useless. 

Q:  The Age Old Question: The Beatles or The Rolling Stones?
A:  The Beatles by a long shot. They have so many great songs and when they changed/experimented, so went the music industry, and they still topped the charts. While I appreciate the Rolling Stones, and like a few of their songs, they never really did it for me. Actually, I prefer The Who over The Stones. That’s right, The Stones get the finger. 

Q:  You have so many websites. Are any of them popular/profitable?
A:  Not a one. But I’m really expecting a big year for  ProcrastinatorsOfTomorrow.com and NowGoFuckYourself.com.

Q:  I’m having some trouble with my homework. Can you help me solve:  5x^-2y^10 over 2x^-1(-3x^-3y^-1)^-2 ?
A:  It’s (45/2)x^-7 y^8  —  NO DUH! 

Q:  How can I convince my staff of 2.3 people that I like coming into work?
A:  Start by not referring to employees in fractional form. Then apply alcohol.

 Q:  What are your thoughts on the golf belly putter ruling?
A:  With my gut, all my clubs technically could be classified as the belly variety so if they start enforcing that rule I may just have to quit the game. 

 Q:  Which of God’s creatures has the best vision?
A:  Your wife, at your school reunion.